Unraveling the mysteries of human attraction

According to the Law of Attraction, opposites invariably attract. However, is it just attraction that draws us to each other, and can a relationship sustain merely on attraction?

However, do the laws of attraction govern two people? As the popular number from the 1980s goes “In a world that is full of strangers”, could there possibly be a definite formula that permits two people to be smitten by each other?

Could chemistry contribute to attraction?

Possibly. As stated by scientists, the attraction that exists between animals belonging to the opposite gender centers on chemicals known as pheromones. How pheromones affect insect behavior is the most researched subject up till now. Certain experiments have brought to light the fact that pheromones play a crucial role in the communication amongst the same colony and species of ants.

The repulsive smell discharged by skunks to keep at bay adversaries is considered to be a type of pheromone. There are a few ape species that smear the feet of prospective companions with pheromone-containing urine in order to lure them. A number of scientists are of the opinion that animals (generally the females) like mammals and insects emit these chemical indicators to let the males belonging to their species know that they have different genes from them.

It is this diversity in genes that is vital for creating offspring, whose survival chances are far improved. In fact, the fragrance market has made the most of pheromones as a way of enhancing one’s sexual appeal to members of the opposite gender. Consequently, animals like the musk deer and the whale were captured for the sake of these chemicals.

Of late, scientists are studying the existence of human pheromones and the part they play in choosing a mate. There are several contradictory opinions in the field of chemistry, biology, psychology, and genetics. A majority of scientists would avow such things do not exist, and even if they are present, they have no influence on the sexual appeal between a woman and a man.

However, the latest studies as the ones carried out by a team of Swiss researchers headed by Klaus Wedekind from the Bern University are gradually making these scientists reconsider their position. Their experiment comprised of women, who were ovulating, taking a sniff of different men’s cotton shirts. It was discovered that women liked better the odor of men’s shirts, which were not only genetically different but in addition possessed a resemblance to women’s genes.

Now, just as is the case with mammals and insects, this makes sure that their prospective progeny have healthier and improved characteristics. Nevertheless, researchers also advised that the inclination toward the male odor is influenced by the food consumed by men, women’s ovulation period, using contraceptive pills, perfumes, and other fragrant body products.

Does personality play a part in sexual attraction?

Certainly, but the way in which you view the personality of your prospective mate also counts. In 2003, Klohnen, E.C., and S. Luo carried out research on the subject of ‘Interpersonal Attraction & Personality’ that states that the confidence a person has in herself/ himself together with the person’s opinion regarding her/his partner were considered compelling factors of attraction in imaginary circumstances.

Now, what message does this convey? We desire a person with a particular type of personality, which draws us toward this person. But apart from a person’s personality per se, which only by associating with the concerned person over a period of time can be established, it is your take on your prospective partner that draws you to her/him, whether the subject of your attention really is endowed with this type of personality. This could in all likelihood explain the statement often expressed by women and men regarding their doomed relationships: “I really believed he/she was the kind of person I was looking for.”

In what way does attraction feature in relationships?

You may be aware that attraction is an influencing factor or the lead-up to building a relationship. This is quite likely in the initial stages; however, attraction by itself cannot ensure a smooth relationship. Definitely, it is an attraction that draws you towards a person of the opposite gender, but when you become acquainted with the person, attraction is simply one factor. Dreams, passion, and shared values assume a greater meaning in enduring relationships.

Hence, should I strive not to be attractive?

Instead of attempting to appear physically appealing, focus on perfecting all spheres of your health: mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. However, the physical attraction continues to be a sign of a budding relationship. Recall that biology induces us to select a partner who possesses the healthiest genes.

When it comes to your emotions, just inquire of yourself whether you would wish to be with someone who is lacking confidence in himself/herself? Almost certainly not! Completely understanding yourself – the kind of person you are, your values, beliefs, and desires – will benefit you greatly. Do not think of yourself to be somebody you are not.

Conning someone into believing that you too share the same identical ideals and values will simply bring about acute disillusionment to both of you. When you are well in all spheres, then attractiveness is not an objective but an outcome. According to Klohnen and Luo’s study, a person’s feeling of self-assurance counts, maybe even more than attraction.

However, never fail to forget to perform these things not for others but for yourself. It is only then that you can really draw on your attractive charm as a person.